Essay Comparisons

As I read through my Julius Caesar and Alchemist essay I am impressed with my ideas and content. My ideas are always relevant, and my content always supports my claims. Although I express my thoughts and ideas in a more concise manner in my Julius Caesar essay, I still believe that my Alchemist essay is quite impressive, especially having written it during the beginning of the year. One concept that I have clearly improved on is explaining what the quote means. Although I still maintain fluency when I embed my quotes, I lack further explanation, “The boy reached through the Soul of the World, and saw that it was part of the Soul of God. And he saw that the Soul of God was his own soul. And that he, a boy, could perform miracles(145). Santiago’s open mind allowed him to follow his destiny instead of continuing the life he had adapted too.” As you can see I have simply skipped explaining the quote, and went directly to my claim. However, in the Julius Caesar essay I never fail to do so, “It must be for his death, and for my part, I know no personal cause to spurn him, but for the general. He would be crone’d: how that might change his nature, there’s the question. (Pg 63) Unlike the other conspirators, Brutus kills Caesar for he assumes that Caesar will be consumed by his ambition when he is crowned.”

I maintain a strong fluency in both my essays for I do not force my ideas or quotes. However, in my Alchemist essay I had to be more verbose to retain it’s fluency, in fact, my Alchemist essay was four pages, while my Julius Caesar was one and a half. In both essays I wrote what I believed was most dominant trait in my last paragraph, for Santiago it was his persistence, and Brutus his honor. The technique of writing about the most dominant trait last is appropriate because throughout reading my essays one works up to knowing the character better and better. In every paragraph for both essays I have strong transition sentences that allow my writing to flow. However, nobody being perfect I still must learn to be more concise.

Comparing my Alchemist essay, which I wrote in the beginning of the year, to my Julius Caesar essay that I have just written recently amazes me. I am proud of how much my reading comprehension has improved, and how much I have grown as a writer. Although my Alchemist essay is reasonably good I must take into consideration the amount of time it took for me to write it, while my Julius Caesar was a timed essay. I needed a lot of help to craft my thesis statement for my Alchemist essay, however in Julius Caesar I wrote my thesis statement in a couple of minutes yet both thesis are of the same quality.

When writing both essays I especially needed to reason critically. A character has many traits that make up their personality, so I needed to reason critically to choose the most dominant traits. Also, I had to be able to explain how the traits contributed to their journey, and back up my claim with evidence.

Escaping Hell. Surviving death. Seeking Heaven.

Sudan Collage Imovie

My Lost Boys of Sudan collage is in the shape of a flower because it symbolizes the new beginning the Lost Boy’s are attempting to create for their country, and themselves in America. When looking at my poster one must start at the bottom, and work their way to the top. This is because each time the Lost Boy’s migrate they become closer and closer to heaven, which they believe is America. The pot symbolizes Sudan, because it’s where all the Lost Boy’s started their journey, and also because it is the furthest from the skies. Although Sudan is their home, it is also somewhat their hell on Earth. It is where their parents were killed, their siblings taken as slaves, and fellow countrymen chased them out of their homes.

The background of the pot is an explosion to symbolize the civil war of North and South Sudan. I emphasized the effect the war had on children to show that no one was spared. The cattle represents the culture of the Dinka tribe, who measured ones wealth on the amount of cattle they owned. The barbed microphone symbolizes that the Lost Boys want to be heard, however, it’s painful for them to say their story, because they must talk about memories that they are trying so hard to forget.

The countries the Lost Boys migrated too are connected with a red string, to symbolize blood, because everywhere they went, more and more of them were killed. Even in America, many Lost Boys cracked under the pressure of stress, and resulted in violence, such as killing just for $10. I do not have many pictures of their stay in Ethiopia, for they only stayed there for a short time, for soon after they arrived they were expelled. The painting in the Ethiopia section is done by a Lost Boy, who painted the horrific scene he survived from when they were forced to escape through the Gilo River, where they then headed to the refugee camp in Kakuma, Kenya. In the refugee camp a critical problem was starvation and malnutrition, I also showed a picture of the refugee camp, which as you can see is very simple.

On the top right petal is a picture of people visiting the refugees, and programs to help raise awareness and money to rebuild Southern Sudan. Once people began hearing about the Lost Boy’s story, they gained empathy for the Lost Boy’s and began helping them. America opened it’s doors to the Lost Boys, and began flying them all over the states to start new lives. This gave hope to the boys, and they imagined America to be heaven on earth, hence the term “seeking heaven”. However, soon after arrival more problems such as receiving an education, racism, and exhaustion from work and school bombarded them. Notice that only my six word memoir, “Escaping Hell, surviving death, seeking Heaven,” are the only words handwritten. I did this to make it stand out, and also to make it seem that a Lost Boy had written it, because it summarizes their plight. The last part I wanted my viewers to see, were the words “Are you our solution?” I want my viewers to walk away after seeing my collage and think, “what can I do to help?”